Two Women Were Stomped Out By A Moose This Weekend And Are Lucky To Be Alive

(CNN) — A couple of Colorado women were recuperating after a moose attack northwest of Denver over the weekend. They were walking their dogs in the city of Black Hawk when the encounter took place, the Gilpin County Sheriff’s Office said. “All of a sudden, I looked up and he was looking right at me and grunted and then charged,” Jackqueline Boron told CNN affiliate KDVR. “I tried to get up, and he kept coming back and stomping on me. The attack left Boron with staples in the back of her head, 15 stitches on her leg and four broken ribs, KDVR reported. Ellen Marie Divis was also stomped on by the moose, but was able to get away to find help. “I heard ‘help me, help me, help me,'” neighbor Chris Hockley told KDVR. “This lady comes running up to her house and she’s covered in blood.”

Here we are yet again.  A couple more weeks go by and we’re right back here taking about how some asshole moose stomped the fuck out of a couple more humans.  And it wasn’t only humans this time, this moose went after a couple of dogs too.  Women and dogs, picking on the weakest among us.  Real nice, moose population.  Keeping it classy.  Snapping ribs and stomping heads, that’s what they do best.  If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times, moose are the most dangerous creatures on the planet.  One of the things that makes them that way is people’s hesitancy to accept the fact that they’re the most dangerous creatures on the planet.  Whenever I write a moose blog people say “They’re not that dangerous, Trent.” and “Stop writing about moose, it’s not funny.”  Well you guys are part of the problem.  As long as you keep perpetuating misinformation about moose and how dangerous they are these attacks are going to keep happening.

Here’s a video of a moose stuck in a swimming pool.  Kinda fun.